


with every drop of rain singing, “i love you, i love you, i love you”

by fiveyaaas



Series: one good movie kiss [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (Implied from the past), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Allison Hargreeves, Bisexual Vanya Hargreeves, Character Study, Dreams, Drinking, Experimentation, F/F, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-Season/Series 01, all titles will come from mitski lyrics, ish, past fiveya implied, this title is from pink in the night!, written for femslash february
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: Really, neither of them should have run into one another. She supposed it made sensewherethey’d run into each other, considering the fact that they’d used to go here as kids. Vanya couldn't tell if Allison was feeling some sort of nostalgia or if she was just a little bit drunk and lonely. It would make sense for her to kiss Vanya when she was lonely, she knew.Vanya was lonely too, anyways.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: one good movie kiss [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139357
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	with every drop of rain singing, “i love you, i love you, i love you”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetheartbitterheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetheartbitterheart/gifts).



> So, I didn’t intend for this one to be angst-y, it just happened. That being said, I’m going to try to make most of my Femslash February be fluffy/smutty with only a little bit of angst!!! I have been wanting to write more Vanya/Allison, and I thought this was a good opportunity for it!!! I will do all 28 days, and a lot of the fics will be M/E but I’ll have some other T fics outside of this one too!!!

She still wore strawberry lip gloss, the kind that she’d pilfer sometimes on missions or the kind that she’d get for a mission done well. Lip Smacker. Vanya was _pretty_ certain that’s what the brand was named. It was the first thing she could think when Allison started kissing her. 

Really, neither of them should have run into one another. She supposed it made sense  _ where  _ they’d run into each other, considering the fact that they’d used to go here as kids. Vanya couldn't tell if Allison was feeling some sort of nostalgia or if she was just a little bit drunk and lonely. It would make sense for her to kiss Vanya when she was lonely, she knew. 

Vanya was lonely too, anyways. 

Her mouth opened up in response, and a moan slipped from the other woman’s lips. 

“Why are you here?” she asked her. 

Allison shook her head. “Because I made a mistake.”

“Allison—”

“Don’t talk about it,” she insisted, pressing her hand to her cheek. “We shouldn’t talk about it. It would only ruin this.”

She’d said that once, a long time ago. Vanya wasn’t seventeen any longer though. Pushing Allison away slightly, she questioned, “What is this going to be? Are you going to leave right afterwards?”

“You always  _ did _ have an abandonment complex,” her fellow ex-cult member quipped, reaching for the coffee Vanya had ordered and taking a sip. 

It wasn’t a very nice thing to say, but she wasn’t  _ wrong _ about it. There was a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich resting on the counter from another person who’d voluntarily abandoned her, one she’d made for the past thirteen years in hopes that it would somehow bring him home. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have one if I didn’t know what this was,” Vanya commented dryly, picking at the cuticles of the nails she kept short for violin. “It’s pretty clear this means nothing to you.”

“Does it honestly mean anything to _you?”_

Honestly? She didn’t know. There were times she could convince herself that it had just been experimentation, but then Vanya had never really had doubts about what she liked and didn’t like. Vanya had no  _ reason _ to experiment. Other times, she could convince herself that it was just harmless fun between them, but she didn’t think it was that, either. 

By no means did she think they were in love. Maybe if the circumstances had been different. If they were on a level playing field, or if they hadn’t all been competing against one another, in hopes that their cult leader would one day love them. 

Why Vanya had ever wanted Reginald to love them, she couldn’t say. She comforted herself with the fact that maybe she’d just wanted a sense of normalcy. Normal was an odd word. It was nearly synonymous to  _ ordinary,  _ but it had never been used to hurt her. It was all she’d ever wanted, even though she understood how ironic of a thing it probably was _to_ want. 

“I don’t know,” Vanya finally said because there was no point in lying to her. Allison likely wouldn’t see her for another few years, anyways. “Does it matter, though? If you don’t want it?”

“Vanya, I have no idea what I want,” Allison told her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, leaving her hand on Vanya’s scalp, an odd look in her eyes. “When I can have anything, it’s hard to tell what I  _ actually  _ want.”

“How great for you.”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” But Vanya knew. She was probably some sort of masochist for not leaving the second she’d seen her walk into the donut shop that they’d frequented as kids. 

“Like you think I’m a bad person.”

She might have said that she really  _ did  _ think Allison was a bad person, had it not been for the note of desperation in her tone. 

The thing was… Allison hadn’t chosen to get her powers, and Vanya knew that  _ anybody  _ who had powers like Allison would be this way. And she was upset. So upset. Vanya assumed it meant she’d fucked up, and she’d love to judge her for it, love to feel vindicated that she wasn’t as perfect as everybody thought of her, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t because she knew that if the situation was reversed, and she was begging for her to confirm that she wasn’t all that bad, that she was somebody that deserved good things still—

Well, Vanya would hope that Allison would be gentle with her if the situation was reversed. 

So, she told her, “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Allison.”

“But?”

“But  _ what?” _ she sighed, turning her whole body to face her, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. Her pills were back at home. She’d thought she wouldn’t have to carry them with her to Griddy’s. 

Allison’s voice was carefully light, “There was a ‘but’ there, I could sense it.”

Maybe she could drive her back to her apartment, and Vanya could take enough to sleep for a really long time. She didn’t have the energy to have this conversation. “Why are you even trying to get me to tell you’re a good person, Allison? What is this even about?”

“I sometimes think that I was the worst to you.”

“Yeah, well, you’re forgiven.” She said it more as a sense of feeling like she had to, for the desire to not talk to her any longer and to be free to go home and pretend this never happened. 

“You don’t mean it.”

“Does it matter?”

“You know I love you, right?” 

She had to be intoxicated. There was no explanation for what she was doing. No explanation why she would be saying these things. Really, there was no explanation why she was here in the first place. 

Or maybe it was  _ Vanya _ who was intoxicated. 

Perhaps this conversation wasn’t happening at all, and she was just dreaming, would wake up in a few hours and check to see if the sandwich on her counter had been bitten off of, wincing when it was another day that she was reminded of how alone she really was. 

It was why she had the confidence to ask, “How?”

“I don’t really know,” Allison said, but her voice was warbled. 

She woke up, and she stared at the wall in silence for a few minutes before walking to her kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Also, if you happen to enjoy my writing and would like some Vanya/Allison prompts filled, please send them to my ask box [here.](https://fiveyaaas.tumblr.com/ask) I also write for other ships too, but I’d love to fill some prompts for them for sure!!!


End file.
